Starlight
by Fish-Custard-And-Bowties
Summary: Roxy Carrol, the bright and aspiring young pilot headed out to see the universe. She met Jim Kirk at a bar and Leonard McCoy not long after. Together they'll face the trials of space. Will they survive the academy? Will they survive the Narada? What does space hold in store for our young cadets? Kirk/OC
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! And a very warm welcome to my latest story! This is a Star Trek Story that I've been working on since seeing the first JJ Abrams film earlier this year! Do enjoy, review if you want to and you know the rest!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek or anything you recognise. It belongs to Gene Rodenberry and the 2009 and 2013 films belong to JJ Abrams.**

**Starlight**

**Chapter 1: Invincible:**

It started in a bar in Iowa.

"To us!" said my good friend Jeremy, raising his glass and clinking it against my own, "The future Pilots of Starfleet!" I laughed at that and sipped my drink. We were actually doing it. Heading off to join Starfleet and travel the universe. I ran a hand through my dark brown hair and sighed. We were starting a new life. We were growing up. We were _living._

Nyota Uhura, a girl I'd met briefly, walked past and we smiled at each other. She walked up to the bar and out of sight and I finished my own drink before setting it down on the table.

"You know what we should do?" I said to Jeremy.

"What, Roxy?" His tone was cautious, as it always was when I came up with ideas.

"We should do shots!" Jeremy laughed and shook his head.

"No, Rox," he said, "No way in hell. Last time we did shots was a disaster. Or don't you remember?" he raised his eyebrow at her and I grinned at him.

"'Course I remember!" I laughed. I did not remember. At all. Jeremy just shook his head again. "It was fine, wasn't it? Come on, Jer, it's our last night of freedom, we'll only do a couple. It'll be fun!"

I knew I was starting to wear him down when there was a shout from across the bar. A group of Starfleet cadets had started beating up some farm-boy. I grabbed Jeremy's hand and pulled him out of the booth and we joined the circle quickly forming around the fight. The farm-boy, although he was a good fighter, was not standing up too well against the four cadets. If you ask me, four on one is ridiculously cowardly. I cringed as they threw him down on a table and punched him repeatedly in the face, my hand covering my mouth.

Then, a loud whistle rang out through the bar and we all turned to see Captain Pike stood there with a disgusted expression on his face.

"Outside, all of you," he said. We all quickly rushed out of the door behind him and everyone began to make their way home or to the bus stops. I pulled out my communicator and sent a message to my dad telling him to come and pick me up and take me back to the hotel we were staying in.

"I could give you a lift, if you want," offered Jeremy as he pulled on his jacket and nodded at his moped.

"Nah, I can wait, don't want to break your bike on it's last night with you." He bid me farewell and I told him I'd see him on the shuttle. Captain Pike came out of the bar a little while after Jeremy had driven off and nodded at me the other few cadets that were still waiting around.

I was still waiting around when farm-boy came out, by that point I was the only one left. He spotted me and sauntered over.

"Well, hello there." I looked him up and down and smiled a little.

"Hey, farm-boy," I replied shortly.

"Now tell me why, after all your spacey friends are gone, are you still here?" He was pretty easy on the eyes, I guess. Certainly not unattractive. He had sandy blonde hair and bright blue eyes set in a well-structured face, even if it was bloodied up right now. His lip was split and he had a cut just above his eyebrow which I guessed was from the bottle that he'd had smashed over his head.

"Oh, I was waiting for you to come out to tell you that I'm madly in love with you," I deadpanned and his eyes lit up a little so I burst out laughing.

"Not nice, space-girl," he said.

"Roxy," I corrected him. "My name's Roxy Carrol." I offered him my hand.

"Jim Kirk," he took the hand but instead of just shaking it he brought it to his lips and kissed it. I snorted a little and he grinned.

"That s'posed to be charming?" I asked with a smirk.

"Hey, I'll have you know I'm very charming!" he said indignantly. "I'll even offer the lady a lift home." He gestured to the remaining motorbike and I laughed.

"What is it with you boys all offering to whisk me away on your motorbikes?" I asked and he looked a little confused but laughed anyway.

"Can I take that as a yes?" something else was implied in his tone and he was very close now, directly in front of me, but I didn't step back.

"No," I shook my head, "but you're cute. Ask me again when you're sober."

"I'll hold you to it, space-girl," he stepped away and towards his bike.

"I don't doubt it, farm-boy." He kicked the engine of his bike into life and roared away just as my dad pulled up. Shame I'd probably never see Jim again.

~0~0~0~

It was only because of my parents that I actually managed to get to the shuttle on time, despite my insistence that I was perfectly on top of things. My long brown hair was tied back in a pony-tail today and I fiddled with the seatbelt wrapped around my middle. Jeremy, as always, was sat next to me on the shuttle.

Jeremy was my oldest friend. Seriously, I'd known him from the cradle. We did everything together. He was tall with black hair and he was like my brother. We didn't even mean to join Starfleet together; but we did, by accident. One day, when I was about to tell him I wanted to join Starfleet to become a pilot, he told me exactly the same thing.

You'd think as best friends we should know these kind of things but Jeremy and I rarely talked about the future. We were so similar it was scary but I wasn't really surprised. Before you ask, no, Jeremy and I have neer had anything more than a platonic friendship. And neither of us has ever wanted more than a platonic friendship. Contrary to popular belief, you can be friends with a boy without one of you falling in love with the other. But he looked out for me always, pretended to be my boyfriend when i got hit on by creeps, helped steer me away from bad decisions in my love-life - something he found he had to do increasingly. But he was sweet about it, he never judged me or questioned me and he was the most important man in my life other than my dad. And I was selfishly happy that he was coming to Starfleet with me.

I was pulled from my thoughts when a loud thunk came from the entrance to the shuttle and I turned in my seat a little and spotted farm-boy.

"Oh my god," I whispered. Jeremy heard me and looked over his shoulder.

"Is that the guy from the bar?" he asked me and I nodded my head. "What's he doing here?"

He was properly in the shuttle now and he spotted me and walked over. Sitting down in the seat next to me, he looked up.

"So, Roxy, can I ask you out now?" he grinned and I smirked back.

"I'm still not one hundred per-cent convinced you're sober, Mr Kirk."

"You two know each other?" said Jeremy and I shook my head while Kirk said,

"Sure we do!"

"He attempted to chat me up last night just after you left," I told Jeremy and he laughed. "Hey! You're not supposed to laugh, he's a public menace!" I whined. Jeremy just grinned at me before turning to Kirk.

"Jim Kirk," said the man, reaching across me to shake Jeremy's hand.

"Jeremy Miller," replied Jeremy. I crossed my fingers and scrunched my eyes tight shut.

"Please don't be friends, please don't be friends, please don't be friends," I repeated until Jeremy hit me over the head lightly. "Dude!" I protested, "Don't hit a girl!"

"Oh, don't be a baby," he said as Jim fumbled with his seat belt. Looking up I noticed him spot Nyota Uhura and grin.

"Never did catch that first name," he called out to her. She smiled slightly and I looked up at Kirk, giving a disbelieving shake of my head.

"You're such a flirt," I said.

"Only for you," he grinned.

"That doesn't even make any sense! You can't say that to someone after immediately flirting with someone els-" Just then there was a small commotion from the direction of the bathroom. We all turned to see a man being led out by one of the flight attendants who was telling him to sit down.

"You need a doctor?" said the woman with an angry expression on her face as she led him to the empty seat next to Jim.

"I don't need a doctor, damn it, I am a doctor!" he protested angrily. He had a southern accent and dark brown hair, roughly the same shade as mine.

"You need to get back to your seat," the woman ground out with little patience.

"I had one in the bathroom, with no windows!" he insisted, Jeremy and I exchanged a glance but I looked away so to stop myself giggling. The woman was having none of it.

"You need to get back to your seat now," she said

"I suffer from aviophobia," he said, "It means fear of dying in something that flies." Well, that's a touch dramatic. And why on earth was he going to _space_ if he suffers from _aviophobia_?

"Sir, for your own safety, sit down, or else I'll make you sit down!" The woman commanded glaring at him.

"Fine," said the man shortly, huffing down into the empty seat next to Jim. The woman nodded at him before moving on. The man looked over at Jim and me who were looking at him. "I may throw up on you."

"I think these things are pretty safe," said Kirk in a good natured attempt to reassure him, and no doubt to avoid being thrown up on.

"Don't pander to me, kid. One tiny crack in the hull and our blood boils in 13 seconds." Well, he was cheerful if nothing else. "A solar flare might crop up, cook us in our seats. And wait till you're sitting pretty with a case of Andorian Shingles. See if you're still so relaxed when your eyeballs are bleeding. Space is disease and danger."

"Well, I hate to break it to you, but Starfleet operates in Space," Kirk said wryly. I put a hand to my head and began massaging it as I felt a headache coming on.

"Don't have a lot of choice," said the grumpy doctor, "the wife took the whole damn planet in the divorce. All I've got left is my bones." He pulled out a battered silver hip flask and took a swig before offering it to Jim. Jim reached out his hand but I leaned over him and grabbed it, taking a sip of my own before handing it back to Kirk as the man chuckled.

"Jim Kirk," said Jim, offering him his hand.

"McCoy, Leonard McCoy," said the doctor. I leaned across Jim again who gave a muffled protest as I offered McCoy my own hand.

"Roxanne Carrol,"I introduced, using my full name and batting my eye-lids.

"You told me it was Roxy!" Jim grumbled as he pushed me back into my own seat.

"Same thing!" I said, leaning my head against the back of my seat as Captain Pike announced take off.

"No it's not!" Jim whined. I just laughed, closing my eyes.

"Anyway, only my dad calls me Roxanne." McCoy just shook his head at us and gripped the armrests of the seat as the shuttle rocked a little in the take-off. I glanced towards one of the windows to see the ground sinking away below us and smiled. The shuttle was still rocking a little as we rose through the air and I hummed in thought as it finally became steady.

"That was bumpy," I mused and Jeremy rolled his eyes while Jim looked at me in confusion. His eyes were a very bright blue in the dim light of the shuttle. They were sparkling with mischief and a little bit of scepticism at my comment.

"You could do better?" he scoffed and I just gave him a look and raised my eyebrows. I heard Jeremy chuckle behind me because, although he couldn't see my face, he knew I looked extremely offended at Jim's words.

"Honey, I'm gonna be one of the best pilots Starfleet has ever seen."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Keeping On Top of Things:

A/N: So, this chapter is basically a collection of little things that happen over the three years at Starfleet and it is all in first person but some points where Roxy isn't there will effectively be in third person. Also sorry it's a little late (it should have been up yesterday.)

_Year 1, The First Day…_

I was handed my duffel bag and linked arms with Jeremy as we were led towards an assembly hall, looking around in curiosity. There were people in the red cadet uniform everywhere, and one or two in the grey Starfleet suit of the professors. The group of cadets this year was relatively small compared to some years but there were still quite a few of us.

After a short briefing in which we were told where our stations were for drills and such and who are supervising officers were, we were sent off. Enrolment day was bound to be hectic at the best of times. People were choosing roommates – if they wanted roommates – signing up for extra classes, running about, making friends, meeting new people.

I grabbed Jeremy by the hand and led him over to a desk so we could sort out a dorm.

"I guess I'm dorming with you, then," he chuckled as we made our way through the crowd.

"Well, who else were you planning to room with?" I shot back with a grin. After a little bit of sorting and paper signing, we were handed two door keys and a map along with a welcome pack and our own PADDs.

I glanced at the map and spun round, looking at the complex of buildings, trying to determine which one was designated as ours.

"You have no idea where were supposed to go, do you, Rox?" laughed Jeremy. I just rolled my eyes.

"Of course I do, Jer, as per usual, I'm on top of things!" Before we worked out which one our building was though, Jim caught us, a grouchy looking Leonard McCoy stood just behind him.

"Hey, Roxy, you want to meet up later? Go to a bar or something?"

"I told you Kirk-,"

"Not on a date, I mean Jeremy too, I'm bringing Bones," he jerked his thumb at McCoy, "Just to help us settle in, get used to the surroundings, get to-,"

"Know the hunting ground?" I raised a knowing eyebrow and he laughed.

"See you at half seven, Roxy!" he called then he and Leo went off in the opposite direction to Jeremy and I.

_Roxy's Birthday (November 28__th__)_

We had been at Starfleet academy for nearly three months and the air in San Francisco had taken a turn for the chilly. We should have been out celebrating, I mean, it's not every day you turn 25, but hey, what can you do? When your tutors decide to just dump a load of tests on you before you get 'too enthralled in Christmas' apparently you have to at least attempt to study.

Jeremy was sat at the desk and I was sprawled across my bed, surrounded by a variety of notes, both of us firing questions at one another. Despite the fact that by this point we all had a bit of experience flying shuttles, none of us were ready for a practical examination – much to my dismay – so we were revising for our theory. At least, we were trying.

There was the sound of banging on the door and I looked up at Jeremy, pleading with my eyes that he answer it. With a sigh he pushed out of his chair and made his way over to the door. It opened to reveal a Jim, his blue eyes lit up with happiness and a bottle of wine in his hand.

"Happy Birthday Ro- Wait, you're _studying?!_" he gasped, as though the notion of me studying shocked him greatly. I just nodded as Jeremy gave a great heaving sigh and made his way back over to the desk. "but-but-but… It's your birthday! Today is your birthday, and you're _studying?!_"

"I have to, Jim. I can fly better than everyone else-,"

"Hey!" said Jeremy indignantly.

"-But I still have to study. I have to keep on top of things!" Jim snorted as I repeated the words that were quickly becoming my catch phrase and, although I didn't look up, I was sure Jeremy rolled his eyes. I turned a page of notes over and began typing something out on my PADD as Jim shut the door, stepping into the room.

"Not today you don't!" said Jim. With that he made his way over to me and, before I could stop him, picked me up and threw me over his shoulder.

"James Kirk you put me down this instant!" I snapped. He just told Jeremy to get the door, managing to keep a grip on me as I struggled. Jeremy followed us out as I was carried down the stairs. In truth, I didn't really mind. Studying could wait. It _was _my birthday. It didn't lessen my guilt about not studying much but it helped me push it aside. Nor did I mind that Jim was picking me up and dragging me away.

Over the past three months that I'd known him, Jim and I had become very close. It wasn't like I hadn't made other friends, Nyota Uhura and I shared a class and Jim didn't come without Leo, otherwise known as Bones, or the Grouchy Doctor. But Jim had become my best friend besides Jeremy. He saw me as an equal and unlike Jeremy he wasn't as judging when I did something reckless; he couldn't, he was almost as reckless as me.

So when he threw me over his shoulder and carried me all the way to the bar on my 25th birthday, leaving all my studying for what was probably a very important test abandoned in my room, I honestly couldn't bring myself to care.

O-o-O-o-O

_New Year's Eve_

The party was in a club. Leonard McCoy and I shared a mutual dislike of clubs. Jim Kirk, however did not seem to mind at all. I glared at him as I leant back in the booth, sipping at my drink. Leonard was sat across from me and I didn't know where Jeremy was; he'd probably gone home. It was after New Year's, about one a.m I'd hazard a guess but the club was still alive.

Almost an hour later and Jim had gone too - taking with him the pretty blonde he'd spent the majority of the night dancing with - and it was just me and Bones and a pile of shot glasses in front of each of us. I laughed loudly as we each slammed another one down.

"Darlin'," he slurred, "I think you may just be the one woman who can drink me under the table,"

"I don't know about that, Bones," I replied as I stood on unsteady feet. I intended to make towards the bar to order more drinks but my vision was slightly hazed and my legs wobbled briefly. I wasn't so inebriated I couldn't think however, not just yet. My legs gave another jolt and I stumbled but Bones stood up quickly and caught me round the waist.

"My, my, Dr McCoy," I said dramatically, "I appear to have fallen for you," he just snorted, hoisting me back up. I was held close against him and he didn't remove his hands from my waist. I could smell whisky on his breath, barely concealed by the scent of his fading cologne. My eyes flicked from his brown ones to his lips. I could make out the thin layer of stubble that covered his jawline. Slowly, the lips came closer and then they were pressed against mine. I could taste the alcohol on his tongue.

What happened next was a bit of a haze. I was perfectly willing, in fact I think I actually seduced Leonard, but it was definitely influenced by the alcohol. I kissed him again, pulling his face down to my level and wrapping my hands around him, whispering sweet nothings in his ear. I was well versed in the art of flirting, probably more than I should have been. And hell, Bones was attractive, what did I have to lose?

Bones led me, giggling, back to his apartment and I was leaning up, kissing his cheek and jaw-line as he fumbled with the door handle. Once he had it open, he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me inside, pushing me up against the wall and kissing me hungrily. He tasted like cherries and whisky. I kissed him back, pressing myself closer to him, my arms wrapped around his neck.

Our heated kisses continued as he turned me away from the wall and I led him playfully towards the bed. He unzipped my dress and it slipped easily off my body before sliding out of his trousers as I undid the buttons on his shirt, barely breaking away from him to pull it off. The back of Leo's legs hit the end of the bed and I pulled away from him with a grin, before pushing his chest lightly so he plopped down on the bed and I climbed on top of him, straddling his waist.

He was kissing my collar bone as I wrapped my arms around him, laying him down on the bed. "Last chance to stop," I heard him whisper, but I shook my head. I was having too much fun.

"Don't worry, Leo," I say, moving to kiss him again, "I'm on top of things,"

O-o-O-o-O

_Y__ear 2:_

_New Year's day_

I woke up the next morning with sheets that weren't mine tangled around my legs and my head resting on someone's chest. Looking up I saw the handsome face and tousled hair of one Leonard "Bones" McCoy. I sighed inwardly as his chest rose and fell beneath me. '_Well done, Roxy' _I thought, '_you've really gone and done it this time.' _I sat up, doing my best not to wake Leo and glancing around the apartment. Jim didn't appear to be there, a fact which I was undeniably glad about. A small part of me wondered if I would be able to leave before Leonard woke up, but that thought was soon forgotten.

Leo shifted on the bed behind me and I looked over my shoulder at him, holding the sheets to my chest. His eyes flickered open and he looked around for a minute before his gaze fell on me.

"Mornin' Leo," I mumbled, smiling at him a little. Groggily he put his hand to his forehead and groaned, making me chuckle a little. He glanced at his bare chest and up at me, raising a questioning eyebrow. "Oh yeah," I said, "We did the do,"

"Uh… why?"

"Because we were drunk and I didn't have Jeremy to stop me," I moaned, I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up, wincing as I got a sudden head-rush followed by the growing pounding of my hangover. "Look," I said as I began to search the room for my clothes, "as fun as this was, I don't really think we should repeat it."

I snatched up my dress from the floor, sliding it on and then proceeded to look for my jacket. Leonard got out of bed, the sheets wrapped around his waist and he made his way over to the bathroom. I heard him rooting around as I pulled on my shoes. He came back out and handed me a small dosage of medicine. Hangover cure. I nodded my head and raised the glass to him before throwing it back, not letting it touch the sides.

After I grabbed my jacket and shrugged it on my shoulders, I walked back over to Leonard, now bare chested and wearing a pair of slacks. I kissed his cheek before pulling back.

"See you tomorrow, Leonard," I reached the door and looked back at him over my shoulder. "Can we, uh, not tell the others about this?"

"I wasn't planning on it," he snorted, I smiled slightly before stepping out the door. As soon as it was shut, I groaned. What had I got myself into?

O-o-O-o-O

_The Fight_

But it wasn't long before Jim found out about us eventually. I didn't know why I'd kept it from everyoned in the first place? When I said everyone, admittedly j'd ben thinking of Jim, but why should he be bothered, it wasn't like I cared when he slept with my other friends, unless I was picking up the broken pieces of their hearts. Anyway, Leonard wasn't exactly heart broken, so it shouldn't have bothered him. I really thought it didn't as well. It took us weeks to get him to stop teasing us after he found out.

It didn't actually cause any problems till a few months later, when we were in the bar. There was this guy. He was kind of cute, definitely putting on the charm and I was too, I'll be honest. I let him buy me a drink but when he'd had a few he got a little handsy, refusing to listen to the word 'No.' I could have handled it on my own, but Oh, no! The ever chivalrous Jim Kirk just _had _to come to my rescue. And when I had 'the nerve' to tell him I hadn't really needed his help – and I had been dealing with assholes for a long time, I could've handled – he accuses me or making bad choices and that I should probably have given the drunk, who edged away from out growing fight, my number. I grabbed my purse and stormed out the door, Jim following my angry wake though I didn't know exactly why.

"You hypocrite!" I spat at him as we left the vicinity of the bar. It was a warm spring evening, just on the verge of summer and there were a few cloudy patches left covering the otherwise glittering stars. "You arrogant hypocrite! Why do you give a damn what I do when you spend all your time sleeping around as much of the campus as you can get through?!" Jim glared at me but I matched his gaze with a burning fury. I stormed up to him so I was inches from his face and, with my voice full of venom, I said, "You're just an irritating little manslut with no say in what I do."

Turning, I walked away but his voice caught me, "Well you're hardly any better!"

"Say that again," I hissed, not looking at him.

"I said, 'you're hardly any better,'" he growled and I span on my heel to look at him, "You're a slut too, live with it, Roxy!"

"Why you little-!" I made to take a swing at him but a hand caught my arm and I looked back to see Leo holding my shoulder with a stern expression on his face.

"Oh, here he is!" laughed Jim bitterly, looking up at the sky, "Here to pick up his slut and take her home." I made to punch him again but Leo had a really firm grip on my shoulder.

"Go home, Jim, you're drunk," said Leo in a tight voice, not letting go of my arm.

"If that were the case then Roxy would sleep with me," he laughed again. Suddenly it clicked and I looked between Jim and Leo.

"Oh my God, _really_?!" I said to Kirk, "This is because I slept with Bones?! You sleep with my friends all the time! You hypocritical asshole!"

"Takes one to no one!" Jim yelled back at me. I heard Leo sigh audibly and pushed myself out of his grip.

"You know what?" I stalked up to Jim, "I've put up with you for long enough." I walked back over to Leo and pulled him back to my apartment with me.

"Roxy," Leo said warningly when I reached the door.

"Chill your bones, Bones," I said, "I just want to talk."

"About what?" he asked as I sat him on the bed opposite me and poured us both a whisky.

"About what Jim said!" I exclaimed, standing straight back up, not even touching my whisky as Leo picked up his and downed it quickly. "I'm not a slut? Am I? I mean, I know sometimes I'll flirt a little too far, and I slept with you for Christ's sake! Oh God, I'm a slut!" I sunk back down onto the sofa and put my head in my hands but I felt Leo prise them away.

"Hey, I charm plenty of pretty girls," he said but it was of little comfort.

"I know," I groaned, "But hardly any of them actually follow you into bed!"

"Hey!" he protested before sighing. "You're not a slut, Rox," he promised, "You are a flirt though. You do flirt _a lot_." I threw my pillow at him and he dodged making me chuckle weakly. "Get some sleep, Rox, I'll talk to Jim and we'll see you tomorrow."

"See ya, Leo," I said, before falling back onto my bed and drifting into an easy sleep.

O-o-O-o-O

_The Haircut _

Three weeks had passed since I fought with Jim. Bones did go talk to Jim and he came and apologised the next day, I wasn't forgiving him straight away. I'm far too stubborn for that. But after a day or so of attempting to be bitter, I gave up and soon enough I had my old friend back.

"Good afternoon, boys!" I said sitting down next to the pair of them at the lunch table. They looked at me as if something was different and I shook my head from side to side a little before their eyes widened in surprise a little.

"Your hair!" Jim said, reaching a hand out to the pixie cut I now had. Before it was down to almost the middle of my back, just past my shoulder blades but now it was in a boyish, pixie style with the front bit styled and waxed slightly and the back cut very short.

"Do you like it?" I asked, waving my head about some more.

"You got a haircut?" Leo said with his mouth full of food, "You love your hair!"

"That is very true, Leonard," I said, stealing a bread roll of Kirk's lunch tray and pointing at him with it before I took a bite. "However, it gets dull and boring in one style after a while and I wanted to change it."

"It's cute," Jim said, "Suits you,"

"I'm glad you think so," I said before turning my wrist over to look at my watch. I deliberated for a minute before I shrugged and continued to pick at Jim's lunch.

"What lesson are you supposed to be in this time?" asked Leo and I rolled my eyes at him.

"I'm not _supposed _to be in any lesson, Leonard, not yet." Jim batted my hand away as I reached for the cookie that he had and I pouted at him until he relented and gave me the cookie.

"Yet? And don't call me Leonard!" he frowned at me as I took a bite out of the cookie.

"I'm fairly sure I've got a navigation class in like, five minutes," I said, with a hand in front of my cookie-filled mouth.

"But isn't navigation on the other side of campus?" Leo said and I just smirked at them.

"I know," I smiled, "But don't worry, I'm on-"

"On top of things," they said in sync and I chuckled a little self-consciously, brushing my newly shortened hair out of my eyes.

O-o-O-o-O

_4__th__ of July_

"Seriously, Jim?" I groaned, "You're doing the Kobyashi Maru on the fourth of July? That's just asking for something to explode!"

Jim just waved me off as we made our way down the corridor. He had taken the Kobyashi Maru once before and, much like everyone else, he had failed it. Unlike everyone else though, Jim was the only idiot who decided he wanted to go back for more. A loveable idiot but an idiot nonetheless. His first attempt had left him sulking for weeks and I had no doubt that this one would go much the same. Also, he was taking the test this afternoon, and he was telling me he wanted me as a helmsman now? What if I'd had plans?! … Okay, so I probably didn't have plans but all the same, I might've.

"Please, Roxy, you're the best pilot I know."

"Flattery will get you nowhere, farmboy."

"I think it will," he almost sung and I relented with a sigh.

"Fine, but if everything blows up again, it's on you!"

Three hours later, we were on our way out of the Kobyashi Maru room. I didn't know how Bones had wormed his way out of this one, but I can bet his excuse started with 'Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor…' Of course, everything had gone wrong. Jim's confidence had once again taken a knock and our ship had ended up exploding. And Jim had been told he failed. What didn't really make sense was why.

The test wasn't fair. There was no real way of winning. Either the Kobyashi Maru crew died, or you did. It was literally a no-win situation, and that did not sit well with Jim.

"It can't be unwinnable, Roxy, it just can't." he muttered as we took our regular booth at the bar. I sighed, having heard this statement a lot already.

"Let it go, Jim," I said, setting drinks down in front of us.

"No, Rox, there has to be a way to beat it. I am going to find a way to beat it."

O-o-O-o-O

_Bad News_

3 months on and Jim was getting a little nervous. It was mid-September and he hadn't seen Roxy all morning, nor had Jeremy, nor had Bones. He was at a loss for where she could be. It was raining outside and no one had seen Roxy since yesterday evening when she'd left the bar early. He checked his watch again, 11:45 a.m. Bones walked through the door and Jim sat up on his bed.

"Have you seen Roxy?"

"I told you earlier, Jim; no." The doctor massaged his head and went to put his PADD on the desk. He looked back across at his friend with a worried expression on his face. "She still not showed up?"

"No one's seen her since yesterday. She left the Bar and after that she's just vanished," Jim got up off the bed and went to get his jacket from the chair.

"Dammit, Jim!" exclaimed Bones, "She could be anywhere by now!" He pushed Jim out the door and they both set off down the hall.

"She won't be too far," said Jim, though he sounded like he was trying to reassure himself as much as Bones.

"It ain't like her to just vanish, Jim," said McCoy as they reached the doors, both of them turning their collars up against the rain. "You even got any idea where she'd go, that is if she even went of her own accord."

"What do you mean, Bones," said Jim, making towards the apartment block where Roxy lived, not wanting to think about what Bones was implying.

"You know exactly what I mean, Jim," sighed Leonard, because he didn't want to think about it either, "If someone's kidnapped her, or worse-"

"We'll find her, Bones!" snapped Jim. They would find Roxy and she would be perfectly okay.

She wasn't in her apartment and with Jeremy out of town they couldn't get in to look for clues to where she would have gone. They ended up just searching the whole of campus, in the hopes that she hadn't gone too far. The rain continued it's torrential pour and as the light slowly began to fade, Jim started to get really worried.

The pair of them reached a park and decided to split, Bones searching one side and Jim the other. It was hard to make out noises through the constant pitter-patter of the rain but Jim though he heard a sniffle. He turned in the direction of the noise and then he spotted her sat under a tree, the rain had soaked through her clothes and left her short hair stuck to her forehead. She had her eyes closed and her head leant back against the tree. What appeared to be tear tracks streaked her face but for all he knew it could have been the rain. She was wearing the jeans and jacket that she had been the previous night and had her arms wrapped around herself.

"Bones," Jim called over his shoulder, "I found her." Turning back, he walked over to his friend and sat down next to her.

"Roxy," he said, "Do you have any clue how worried we've been?" Roxy turned to look at him and shook her head, her lower lip trembling. She threw her arms around his neck and buried her face in the crook between neck and shoulder, shaking slightly. Jim was shocked for a moment before he wrapped his own arms back around her.

"What happened, Rox?" Jim asked quietly, rubbing a hand up and down her back. Bones rushed up to them and opened his mouth to speak but a Look from Jim kept him silent.

"It's my dad," she said quietly, so low that Jim could hardly hear her over the pounding of the constant rain. "He's dead."

O-o-O-o-O

_Year 3: _

_The Almost Kiss_

I don't know how it happened. I do now it was probably my fault. It usually was. After all, I was the one who backed out the door and ran away, leaving a very confused James Kirk behind. It had been seven months since my dad died. It was my dad's birthday too. Being in need of a friend, I sought out Jim. I trusted Jim to cheer me up. But when I found him I was already a wreck. An emotional wreck.

He hugged me, held me close, tried to comfort me. I cried, I lashed out, I may have tried to kiss him. Foolish as it was. I know what Jim's like. He knows what _I'm _like. Put the two of us together (like, _together_ together) and we make a bad mix. I realised this of course, but not before Jim had realised what I'd been about to do. Being the coward that I am, I felt the overwhelming urge to flee the situation. That isn't how you're supposed to deal with problems, you're supposed to face them. The rational, logical part of my brain knew that. But all I did was run from Jim.

I made my way brusquely down the corridor, wiping furiously at my eyes so they wouldn't start streaming with tears. Of course, this only made me more noticeable to some. I was stopped when a pair of firm but soft hands grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me over to the side. I looked up into the concerned eyes of one Nyota Uhura.

Three years ago, Nyota and I barely knew each other, we'd met a few times before in our lessons before joining Starfleet, we'd shared a few classes since, but until recently we hadn't been particularly close. So, when she grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me over, my muddled mind vaguely registered the surprise.

"What happened, Roxy?" she asked, straight to the point. Nyota always seemed very good at dealing with people's emotions. Her eyes were concerned and gentle and the fact that she actually wanted to know what had upset me without actually knowing me didn't help my whirring emotions.

"I'm such an idiot!" I sobbed, trying again to wipe away tears.

"Why?"

"I tried to kiss Jim."

"_Why?!" _The way she said it made me laugh a little. She had never liked Jim, she'd come to tolerate him over the years, but really she wasn't overly fond of him. I think she looked down on his playboy ways – I also think her disdain of that also affected her opinion of me but she was never cold with me as she was with him… then again I wasn't quite so promiscuous.

"I don't know, I'm kind of an emotional wreck right now and I'm under a lot of stress and I just tried to kiss my best friend." I buried my face in my hands and Uhura led me over to a bench. i sank down with shaky knees and she wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

"What happened next?" she prodded gently.

"What do you think? I ran for it!" I groaned, trying with no avail to calm my erratic breathing from all the crying. I was being overemotional and I knew it, but everything had piled up. Everything with Dad, and Starfleet tests – I had my final practical piloting exam in little over a week – amd now this with Jim. What if he hated me? What if I lost my best friend? What if I lost Bones by extension?

"You know what you have to do then, don't you?" said Uhura softly and I shook my head, looking up at her with teary eyes. She sighed. "Talk to him. Apologise, tell him you were being emotional, and learn to live with it. We all make mistakes Roxy."

I looked at her and gave the tiniest of smiles. I honestly did not expect to get advice from Nyota Uhura. I expected to go back to the apartment, avoid Jeremy and consume a lot of alcohol, but what Uhura said made a lot more sense. It wasn't that I was unintelligent, I would've come to this solution on my own eventually. But Uhura helped me get there sooner. She smiled back and pulled a tissue out of her purse, handing it to me so I could blow my nose.

"Thanks," I muttered.

"You're welcome," she grinned, before pulling me up off the bench. "Now go talk to Kirk, and for God's sake try not to inflate his ego, the last thing we need is him thinking he can make emotional women just fall at his feet."

I laughed and thanked her again before she turned and continued down the corridor. With a deep breath I wiped my face and began to make my way back to Jim.

The almost kiss became an event that no one but Uhura, Jim and I knew about for a long time. I was embarrassed by it… a lot. But when I confronted Jim and apologised, he was surprisingly gentlemanly. Big-headed of course but ultimately sweet. To me though, it seemed that was Jim Kirk in a nutshell. An idiot at times but caring, truly caring, when it mattered most.

O-o-O-o-O


End file.
